Tough Times for KPMG…

KPMG has had a tough couple of weeks. Aren’t they still on double-secret probation with the SEC, DOJ and IRS?

Not that the other firms have been such good boys either…They probably should have a meeting at the clubhouse soon.

Deloitte is still the pot calling the kettle black in the Siemens scandal. But they’ve done a good job lately getting themselves out of trouble. And even though they’ve had their share of rejection, they’d probably claim it’s because they’re just too good. In the end, money can buy happiness.

Ernst and Young is quietly going about its business the same old way it always did, non-independently. And they continue to try the patience of the PCAOB. They’re also good at getting rid of problems by throwing money at them. But they try hard to keep spirits up, when they’re not working people to death.

And PwC, oh my dear PwC, I want to pat you on the back and kick you in the ass all at the same time. But your superior attitude and wonderful partner camaraderie will hold you in good stead, even as you lose clients and weather storms. You’re good at getting out of things too, which shows a dollar still goes a long way in Washington DC.

Unfortunately, KPMG’s troubles these past couple of weeks are a little bit worse than the average suit settlement or client loss.

In order to defend themselves against suits at Fannie Mae, they’re having to claim they were duped. That’s a tough pill to swallow.

Their submarine has been torpedoed by Siemens. Maybe the British should think twice about getting mixed up with those Germans.

“Fool me twice, shame on me” at New Century. But at least they got out before being pushed out.

They’re not coming off as badly as the Audit Committee is in the Hollinger lawsuit, but not by much. How could KPMG (or the SEC?) allow Hollinger to continue with an Audit Committee that lacked the required financial expert?

Imagine being Marie-Josee “O Henry!” Kravis, Jim ” Skim Milk With My Latte” Thompson and Richard ” My duty is attending meetings, not falling asleep and giving management my best advice” Burt! They’ve had to tell everyone they were duped to avoid trouble with the SEC. Unfortunately they probably won’t get off so easy with shareholders after these admissions.

Maybe KPMG can take comfort in the optimism of their clients. Next year is going to be peachy, that is, if they’re still around…